We need to be honest and admit that there is a problem

Work In Progress / 29 August 2020

The following section is copied from my Facebook acct:

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Added on to my response from an earlier post:

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“The system is not already corrupt, it is here to protect you. You need to learn some respect for authority. You’re not being oppressed, you need to respect authority and respect the fact that they are authorized to legally shoot you if you do not comply.”


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Perhaps, but I know I got pulled over a couple years ago and the cop panicked, jumped back and grabbed for his gun his gun when I leaned over to grab my I. D. Like this guy was wound up and primed before he ever pulled me over. I was polite, honest, smiled, apologized, non-aggressive and followed all the rules and when he saw my face after nearly unholstering his weapon, he blamed me for moving too fast. Not all cops are dangerous, but cops that are so wound up that they are keyed to grab their gun as the first option is dangerous for everyone.


I added the art so it would get your attention. Please feel free to share.

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So, I wanted to expand on that just a bit more with today’s blog to really drive the point home.

We have to stop fighting with each other. I’m living in a constant unending panic attack because I can’t believe how many stupid people there are or how quickly things have degenerated.  

We have to stop dismissing and vilifying anyone who doesn’t share the same opinions. We need to accept and tolerate the fact that everyone doesn’t have to agree and that their opinions are based on a life experience different from our own. We need open, honest communication.

We, as a society, need to stop passively aggressively correcting strangers on the internet to look smarter, and actually listen to each other.

All these damn dividers and blind loyalty, even using our beliefs to justify psychological warfare on the opposing side, or trying to gaslight those who think differently to whip them up into a furor.

We need total to each other openly, peacefully and respectfully to establish a bare minimum baseline of what kind of treatment is allowable and acceptable from a system toward its citizens.

I personally think it’s time we admit that that system was corrupted long ago and the the government, business and media have already been compromised and have been lying to us for decades at least.

These stupid divisionsand classifications thatwe fight over are the proof. Can we not agree that murder is bad? The there are no exceptions! That regardless of race, colour or genderhat NO ONE should be executed in the street?

We really need to answer that. If you disagree, feel free to speak up and be vocal. We’re not brining morality into this. No: “Well what if they did this?...”. We need to agree on what the basic expectations of human rights should be. 

I think that baseline is that nobody, regardless of authority, has the right to execute someone, based on race, gender, religion or suspected of a crime. Can we not agree on that? I wish I could seriously ask every person on Earth and tally the answers.

I think we will discover that there are a lot less stupid, angry, murderous people on Earth then it appears. I have faith in us that if we speak up, we’re going to discover that a lot of those creating divides and encouraging fighting between group are bots, nut cases or a small group of extremists (on both sides). 

I think we need to do this so that we know it as fact and have an absolute baseline. In order to do ths we need to listen to each other, regardless of inion. We need to stop dismissing people who talk about corruption as a “conspiracy nut”. It’s real. They have lied to us for a long time and when they convince you that the system is not broken and corrupt, it’s just them lying to you again.

Once we can clear this up, together as a society, we can determine what is best to move forward. Also, if there is a power encouraging us to fight each other over these divisions; who is behind it and why?

Here’s some new art I did:


Thanks for reading,

Mike


The internet mocks me.

Work In Progress / 24 August 2020

I spent 5 hours writing an essay on my experience with anxiety and how the combative natures of communication on social media may be a reason for the rise in anxiety diagnoses and potentially effect overall mental health...and poof, Lost it. Gone. And this time I saved like 5 times. So somehow between switching from the ipad to the computer to make an edit caused the work to just disappear into the interwebs. So since I’m not writing that all over again, at least not today, here’s some of my new art.


Thanks for reading,

Mike

I am not a male chauvinist patriarch, Am I?

Work In Progress / 20 August 2020

There are a lot of people with a lot of different takes on the "politically correct" and "woke" movements. To be honest, I'm not confident that I firmly grasp either of those terms well enough to know if I'm using them in a sentence properly. All I know is essentially it's the idea of treating people equally regardless of age, race, gender, etc. Chances are, no matter who it is, if they are pushing for a side, they have an agenda. 

Agendas in and of themselves are not good or bad. Someone could have a good agenda, someone could have a bad agenda. I'm overly explaining the agenda concept because this article is going to be super uncomfortable to write. 

This could be the anxiety talking but...have I ever used my position or status in life to pressure someone else? It's a legitimate question. I don't think so, but with the way people talk on social media, I'm not sure that we can find a clear definition of where  the line is drawn. I'm not talking about rape. No means no, no matter what. I always have found the idea of rape repugnant. I'm not looking for points for that, it's just something not said out loud enough that I think should be more often. Like if more guys who found forcing a woman to be disgusting actually spoke about it, maybe it would be easier to find witnesses for such things when necessary. Or maybe not. I don't know. From what I understand of reading online, my perspective is inseparably connected to my age, race and gender. Something I think is basic, like your uncle who says "Just go and get a real job!" is coloured by my life experience, my social status, my skin tone, and a million other things that can be used to divide us into ever smaller, less powerful groups. 

What is wrong with just treating others the way that you'd want to be treated? What's the problem with that? Doesn't that cover pretty much everything? Or at least enough to figure out the rest on our own?

Anyway, I digress. The reason my anxiety ridden noodle is stewing on this question today is that every story has as many sides as there are people involved in that story. Even mine. And even though some of those perspectives are similar to mine, others, inevitably won't be. 

If I'm a hero to all of my friends in the room, to whom, am I, the villain?

Above all let me be clear. I love women. Not in a greasy womanizer way like the guy at the bar who is like "I love women" and has his shirt half unbuttoned with his chest hair out and his twirled waxed moustache...ugh...you get what I mean. I have no problem with women. Or people on an individual basis for the most part. I don't have a problem with race, religion, gender, whatever, as long as you are equally respectful of me we are good. I've never forced a woman into unwanted intimate contact. 

I know that men using their status or position to force a woman into sex is a thing, but again, I don't think I've even abused my authority, such as it is, for intimate contact (or financial gain, just to cover the bases). I mean, authority is pretty loose. As a teacher, I am exposed to students, but I'd never cross a line like that for like a million reasons that I should not have to give. I happily do multiple police checks each year, one for each school I teach with, whether the age group is 5 or 95. I do that happily because schools should be doing everything they can to make sure students of all ages are learning in a safe environment. I'm not looking for points here, again, it's just basics. Anywho, I don't really have any staff below me per se, and again, not something I need to worry about. 

I do have to pause when I think of colleagues and fans. 

I was doing comics and conventions off and on from 2000-2019. A great time in history and a perfect snapshot to see the tail end of conventions transforming from a small, one-room convention hall type of event, to the huge gatherings held in major event complexes found in almost every major city. It was a great time. And In that time, did I hook up with any colleagues? Once or twice maybe. Were they at a disparate level of their career that gave me a power advantage that could have been abused? I don't think so. Not from my perspective anyway. But what about someone else's perspective? and how can you ever know that someone else doesn't think you are abusing your privileged even when you think you aren't.

Anxiety. That's what makes you think about these things. 

But, no more dodging. I mentioned fans earlier. Yes, I hooked up with fans. Yes I know that's ridiculous. I don't get it either. And don't get me started on sexting. I had a good run there where I was tearing up the sheets via text with multiple people. Okay, that sounds bad. i don't do that anymore. Really, I don't. But at one time, again for perspective, I was single and I was doing conventions in basically every major city from Toronto to New York, at the perfect time when so many new conventions were popping up that it became easier to do a show closer to home instead of travelling farther than you'd like. Truly a wonderful time. Anyway, so I was single and doing comics and client work during the week, conventions on weekends 3-4 times per month. It was a good way to get burned out and exhausted, which is why that schedule didn't last 2 years, but in that short span, while I was in it, the number of propositions to knock boots was astounding. I'm not bragging, that's not what it's about. I am judging a little bit. Like it takes 2 to tango and the fact that I have a booth at a convention or I worked a small job for a big publisher, doesn't mean that you should throw yourself at me. Seriously, it was too easy. Y'all know why those conventions started in hotels back in the day. It was for celebrity hook ups and you know it. I once saw an orgy break out in a hotel room during a sci-fi convention. Don't even try to hide it. I'm not judging, but it seemed like anyone could get laid simply by having a name or credit somewhere in a comic book. Good times.

So yeah, remember when I said I wasn't a greasy womanizer? Well...I'm not...now.

Anyway, when I think of all of those encounters, as far as I know, they were positive experiences for all involved. But what if they weren't? What if, from their perspective, they were pressured. Ugh. I can't even imagine, but there really is no way for me to know. I guess all that I can say is "Sorry, to anyone I may have hurt or felt pressed by me ever using my age, gender, ethnicity, etc. to my advantage and putting pressure in any way, on anyone".

Hopefully, if any issues arise in the future, I can just give them a handy link to this post. 

Oh, BTW, here's some art I did!


Thanks,

Mike

Everybody hates me...or maybe I'm just anxious...

Work In Progress / 17 August 2020

So, big secret, I have anxiety. As many others are feeling, the 'Rona lockdown has me going a little stir crazy, which ramps up anxiety like a motha fucka. So, I find myself feeling like I did as a child, decades ago, long before I knew that anxiety was the way I felt that way.

Feeling judged, hated or disliked by everyone that you encounter is a very common symptom of anxiety disorder. Many people diagnosed with anxiety can trace the triggers to emotional events tied to shame and guilt, which then stir the second you feel scrutinized and the anxiety is compounded. 

Or as I call it, a fun Tuesday night.

But here's the thing. The same thing is said to everyone who has anxiety disorders. Millions of people are diagnosed with anxiety worldwide, with thousands, maybe tens of thousands of new diagnoses every year. They can't all be likeable paragons of greatness who just misinterpret the signals they get from others. Surely there is someone on Earth who is both diagnosed with an anxiety disorder AND universally disliked by others on sight. 

And, all things being considered equally, that person could be me, just as much as it could be anyone else. So how do I determine if it is just me and maybe I am just universally hated by people, especially contemporaries and colleagues.

I know I've certainly had my detractors and people who have made it their goal to bad mouth or undermine me in the community. Some of those people barely have any kind of tenuous connection to me or have even met me, but they are out there, and I think sometimes the obsession to destroy me is a way to actually have a connection with another person, no matter how delusional. I'm told that happens to a lot of people. How about followers and fans? Well, let's be real, I got a lot more love from people all over when I was working for Marvel. Now that I haven't had a project with the house of mouse for awhile, people don't seem to give a damn about my work. 

I've kept in touch with multiple editors at major publishers for years, and it seems that the better my work gets and the more successful my indie work is, the frostier the big boys demeanor seems. 

But that's just my perception, which is distorted by anxiety. It's hard to put faith in either side of the debate. 

I know that I'm doing some of the best work of my life and more than ever in 20 years, trying to share it with people and make them aware of it is like shouting into the void like never before.

I may as well be floating is a space suit, coasting away from Earth...and then when detected by NASA, instead of sending a rescue mission, they just launch a nuclear missile to eliminate the anomaly. 

Or maybe it's just the anxiety...

Or maybe the 'Rona has everyone down and everyone feels rejected, unimportant and shut-in?

Or maybe my new regimen of drastically reducing my social media time is causing withdrawal from those little endorphin rushes of validation that I get when people like my work...

Or maybe it's all three.

I guess I'm just another stereotypical praise addicted diva artist...so if you feel like helping out by liking my work or reaching out, please do so! It keeps me from losing my mind!

Thanks,

Mike 


Oh, and here is some of my recent work, check it out!

Thwarted by technology just as much as graced by it

Work In Progress / 29 July 2020

The left button of my mouse is dying. Do you know how often the left mouse button is needed? I am jack's seething rage. 


(I'd rather post samples of the awesome sci-fi pinup I'm doing, but I'm not done it yet because of this damn button!)  

BTW if you want to see that pinup and get a high quality downloadable version of it before anyone else, you should be a member of my Patreon or OnlyFans

I'm addicted to Facebook

Work In Progress / 28 July 2020

Why the hell do I spend so much time looking for validation and approval from people who haven't been a part of my life since high school? (20 years ago)

Do you like that constant feeling of anxiety and judgement from invisible masses that it brings to your daily life?

That anxiety alone should be enough to convince you that it's not good for you. 

Technology has failed at it's one job, to let people reach out and connect with each other on a deeper level.

Someone check and see if this qualifies as some kind of a poem. 

Thanks,

Mike


Oh hey, don't forget to vote on my Patreon page to choose which of the FREE demos gets made into a full version. 

https://www.patreon.com/AllDayBreakfast 

Reddit is a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

Work In Progress / 12 March 2020

Just trying to maintain my own reddit page to chat with people about comics and games and it never works right. I'm able to post links, but not text posts on my own reddit. A student suggested clearing cache and history, which worked for 1 post, then same problem again and now clearing cache doesn't help. I just want things to work right and not drive me insane in the process. 

Just a reminder

Work In Progress / 11 March 2020


ALIVEBook sneak peek

Work In Progress / 11 March 2020


Looking for some feedback on my website

Work In Progress / 09 March 2020

So, as you may know, I try to avoid outside influences when it comes to my creative work. Otherwise, I wouldn't create masterpieces like this: 


Okay, masterpiece may be an embellishment, but all kidding aside, what would help make this website better and more interesting? I've already begun researching uncensored, non-commercial, non-partisan platforms to move the content to, which will happen over time, but what else. Should there be more merch? Do you want to be able to play games? More blog stuff?


I'm thinking about doing a Twitch stream that would have recurring features such as peaks inside my work method, and fun things like me trying to sing songs suggested by viewers and reviews of comics and digital game assets. What else? Should I start a reddit?

Share your thoughts with me directly on the contact page