Thwarted by technology just as much as graced by it

Work In Progress / 29 July 2020

The left button of my mouse is dying. Do you know how often the left mouse button is needed? I am jack's seething rage. 

(I'd rather post samples of the awesome sci-fi pinup I'm doing, but I'm not done it yet because of this damn button!)  

BTW if you want to see that pinup and get a high quality downloadable version of it before anyone else, you should be a member of my Patreon or OnlyFans

I'm addicted to Facebook

Work In Progress / 28 July 2020

Why the hell do I spend so much time looking for validation and approval from people who haven't been a part of my life since high school? (20 years ago)

Do you like that constant feeling of anxiety and judgement from invisible masses that it brings to your daily life?

That anxiety alone should be enough to convince you that it's not good for you. 

Technology has failed at it's one job, to let people reach out and connect with each other on a deeper level.

Someone check and see if this qualifies as some kind of a poem. 



Oh hey, don't forget to vote on my Patreon page to choose which of the FREE demos gets made into a full version. 

Reddit is a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

Work In Progress / 12 March 2020

Just trying to maintain my own reddit page to chat with people about comics and games and it never works right. I'm able to post links, but not text posts on my own reddit. A student suggested clearing cache and history, which worked for 1 post, then same problem again and now clearing cache doesn't help. I just want things to work right and not drive me insane in the process. 

Just a reminder

Work In Progress / 11 March 2020

ALIVEBook sneak peek

Work In Progress / 11 March 2020

Looking for some feedback on my website

Work In Progress / 09 March 2020

So, as you may know, I try to avoid outside influences when it comes to my creative work. Otherwise, I wouldn't create masterpieces like this: 

Okay, masterpiece may be an embellishment, but all kidding aside, what would help make this website better and more interesting? I've already begun researching uncensored, non-commercial, non-partisan platforms to move the content to, which will happen over time, but what else. Should there be more merch? Do you want to be able to play games? More blog stuff?

I'm thinking about doing a Twitch stream that would have recurring features such as peaks inside my work method, and fun things like me trying to sing songs suggested by viewers and reviews of comics and digital game assets. What else? Should I start a reddit?

Share your thoughts with me directly on the contact page

Preview of my next game

Work In Progress / 21 January 2020

I need to update

Work In Progress / 15 November 2019

I know. I need to do a full update on this site. Especially for my video game and CGI stuff. Okay, so you probably didn't notice, but it's still nagging on my mind, just too busy to find the time right now...maybe over the holidays...

So, I’m depressed

Work In Progress / 22 October 2019

The title explains it all. I’m living the creative person stereo type. Life seems pointless and I don’t care about anything. Okay maybe that sounds extreme. I’m not looking for attention or a flood of support, that’s why I’m venting here and not Facebook. 

Long story short, my anxiety meds aren’t working any more. For a long time I said weed helped more than my meds anyway, but now that’s not working either. So I’m pretty much going through withdrawal, even though I’m still taking my meds.

I’m so tired of the bullshit I’m faced with daily in the world. 

We live in a world that doesn’t give a fuck about us and the institutions in charge don’t give a fuck. Maybe they are waiting for us to die off. 

They stigmatize mental health, then encourage people suffering to get help and when you try to get help it takes forever on waiting lists or you can’t get help consistently and reliably, so your stress and frustration is increased even more. 

That’s just one thing.

I’ve always had a purpose, but don’t feel like I have one now. It’s the same pattern over and over.

I make Trumpocalypse Now, and Facebook censors it, media refuses to cover it, I get targeted by hackers and deal with nothing but stress and frustration. I don’t promote these things because I want people to actually read it because it’s good, not because of potential scandal. 

Comics seem to have gone to shit. Mainstream companies just retread new versions of every crossover they did in the 80s and they sell simply because there’s a superhero on the cover while I actually try to make stories that make people think and try to improve people’s lives and they get unanimously dismissed or ignored.

I’m so sick of it. Thanks to mob mentality on the web, I feel like half the people that know I exist have negative opinions of me as a person, because people make bullshit claims and no one takes the time to verify instead of jumping on the band wagon. Colleagues and ppl I once respected believe unfounded nonsense said about me.

It’s at the point now that teaching, one of the last things that gave me enjoyment doesn’t any more. I don’t feel like I’m helping any ,ore or improving anyone’s life. I feel insecure about my abilities to teach. 

I feel pointless.

I don’t trust the world and I don’t believe there is any security or guarantee for anything in the future.

I’ve been working my ass off for 20 years with nothing to show for it and I’m sad and angry.

People say they want to support and help ppl that feel like me, but I know just writing this will spur someone to claim I’m looking for attention, which I’m not. I know I’ll eventually be mocked by someone for writing this.

Or someone will say it’s a stunt. If you are reading this now and thinking this, go outside and fuck yourself.

I tried to reach out to my family by text this morning, and somehow, typically, the texts won’t send.

Nothing is reliable any more. 

I know that it is supposed to be my anxiety causing these feelings, but I’m at the point I don’t care any more. I can’t get excited about anything.

Just tired of all the unnecessary bullshit.

I feel like I’m going to end up like the guy at the end of 1984 and become a human robot for the system.

Trumpocalypse Now Trailer!

Work In Progress / 26 August 2019